Lord, I don't want to waste my energy rebelling against You like an immature brat anymore. Jesus, I choose You and not the world or my flesh. I feel tired because I'm still struggling between pleasing people and pleasing You. Jesus I'm letting go, I am going to run after You!
I flipped through my devotional journal the other day, and one part grabbed my attention:
"I must RUN in the opposite direction I'm going right now, or I will end up worse, with more spiritual strongholds in my life by the end of this year. I will not just deal with my anger issue, I will FLEE from it, I will not just try and barely keep up with devotion, I will THROW myself into His presence and ROOT myself in His Word, I will not just struggle to love my family, I will POUR down God's love lavishly on the people around me. In this walk with Christ, you either climb up or slide down. I will RUN to You Jesus! Father please help me!!" (journal entry on 7/9/2007)
Oh Jesus, I know that I cannot force myself to live a life of holiness, but it is the attitude of pursuing holiness that matters; only You can turn my sinful life around.
Today I did devotion whenever I got the chance to; in the morning, after eating, and when my roommate isn't here. Lord, I realized how important waiting upon You, spending quiet time before You is. It felt so wonderful to kneel down before the Lord of all lords and to surrender my weary spirit to You.
Jesus, I've been feeling depressed because of how "fat" I am. I constantly look in the mirror and complain. I took two hours changing to see what clothes I should wear tomorrow; none of them fit, I was too "fat". Lord, help me to move beyond this barrier. I've been considering starving myself to become skinny, but I know that will only lead to sin and destruction. God, I don't want to waste anymore time worrying about such shallow matters! Jesus help me.
Lord, every time I feel empty I would try different things to fill that void: going online, reading a book, or stuffing myself with food. But in the end only one thing has ever satisfied: coming before You and reaching out my arms to my loving Savior. Oh Jesus, my joy and delight, thank You for Your love, mercy, grace, and salvation! God open my eyes! I want to see Your beauty, to be fascinated by Your glory, to be blown away by Your presence!
Jesus, thank You for bringing me back every time I'm on the brink of falling. Lord I am forever Yours! Hallelujah to our God who reigns heaven and earth!
Wednesday, October 31
Tuesday, October 30
Our True Identity
My identity is not based on my skills, my achievements, or what others and myself think of me. My identity is a beloved child of our heavenly Father. Only what the Father thinks of me matters. My Creator determines who I am. (cool huh? I drew that with Microsoft Paint!! XD)
These days, Jesus has been teaching me what I should be thankful for. One day, I was counting all the blessings I have, "Lord, thank You for the roof over me, for the clothes I wear, the food I eat; thank You that I'm healthy, that I..." Then I heard Jesus say, "Clothes? Food? That's what you are thankful about? Celebrate and give thanks for the love and mercy and salvation that you received!" I was so blown away by His words. Yes! That's true! Clothes and all those things will not last, but the salvation I have will! I should rejoice daily for Jesus' abundant love and mercy! So I started to praise, and the joy of salvation washed over me.
"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans5: 8)
Monday, October 29
MONDAY JOKES ! ! !
Here's a joke to start off your week!
One day, a girl named Alice woke up and found herself 5 minutes away from being late. Extremely exhausted, she decided to go back to sleep. Her roommate was already up and studying. A few minutes later, just as Alice was drifting off to sleep, she let out a fart so loud that she woke herself up and startled her roommate! An awkward silence followed as Alice pretended she was still asleep. When her roommate finally left, Alice jumped up from the bed, face red with embarrassment.
And that's how the Lord made sure Alice got to class on time and would never ever try to ditch class again.
Note: The above story has no relevance to the author of this blog nor does it reflect the views of this blog.
____________________________________________________________________
So I'm back at UCI again, the air had cleared up, and classes were in session (they never did cease anyways). I'm trying to take Annie's challenge to do devotion every morning and to take Jack's challenge to incorporate Provers 4: 23 in my conversations with friends. I realized that my devotions had a lot of Bible reading but lacked prayer, praise, and waiting upon Him. God, I want to be closer to You. I want to be crazy for You. I need to spend more time praying.
Jesus, I remember the time at Growing in the Prophetic Conference (when my devotional journal fell into the toilet and is now and forever baptized by IHOP's "holy" toilet water -_-"), when You showed me a glimpse of Your magnificent glory. Oh Jesus, right that second I was in awe at You. Oh You are so magnificent, so glorious, so loving and kind, oh You are worthy! Worthy of our worship! Jesus You are so glorious. Oh Lord, teach me how to pray constantly throughout the day. Lord, forever remind me that You are good and worthy of praise, that You are the magnificent obsession, the desire of the nations, and that my life is for You.
"Send forth Your light and Your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell." (Psalms 43: 3)
Lord, what season am I in? Am I in the wilderness? The season of change? The season of training? Jesus, may Your light shine on me, I want to walk in the light of Your truth, in obedience to Your laws, in love, and in wisdom. Lord, no matter what season I'm in, let Your love burn in me. Lord I am Yours!
One day, a girl named Alice woke up and found herself 5 minutes away from being late. Extremely exhausted, she decided to go back to sleep. Her roommate was already up and studying. A few minutes later, just as Alice was drifting off to sleep, she let out a fart so loud that she woke herself up and startled her roommate! An awkward silence followed as Alice pretended she was still asleep. When her roommate finally left, Alice jumped up from the bed, face red with embarrassment.
And that's how the Lord made sure Alice got to class on time and would never ever try to ditch class again.
Note: The above story has no relevance to the author of this blog nor does it reflect the views of this blog.
____________________________________________________________________
So I'm back at UCI again, the air had cleared up, and classes were in session (they never did cease anyways). I'm trying to take Annie's challenge to do devotion every morning and to take Jack's challenge to incorporate Provers 4: 23 in my conversations with friends. I realized that my devotions had a lot of Bible reading but lacked prayer, praise, and waiting upon Him. God, I want to be closer to You. I want to be crazy for You. I need to spend more time praying.
Jesus, I remember the time at Growing in the Prophetic Conference (when my devotional journal fell into the toilet and is now and forever baptized by IHOP's "holy" toilet water -_-"), when You showed me a glimpse of Your magnificent glory. Oh Jesus, right that second I was in awe at You. Oh You are so magnificent, so glorious, so loving and kind, oh You are worthy! Worthy of our worship! Jesus You are so glorious. Oh Lord, teach me how to pray constantly throughout the day. Lord, forever remind me that You are good and worthy of praise, that You are the magnificent obsession, the desire of the nations, and that my life is for You.
"Send forth Your light and Your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell." (Psalms 43: 3)
Lord, what season am I in? Am I in the wilderness? The season of change? The season of training? Jesus, may Your light shine on me, I want to walk in the light of Your truth, in obedience to Your laws, in love, and in wisdom. Lord, no matter what season I'm in, let Your love burn in me. Lord I am Yours!
Sunday, October 28
Another Week Passed
Oh man, I slacked off so much this weekend. I didn't catch up or finish any of my reading for sociology, biology, and psychology! I've wasted my time on reading a novel! I need better time management.
Last night at 7-11, Jack said that we need a coordinator for this year's winter camp for new leaders. There are two camps this year: one for current leaders, and the other for future leaders. I was so excited about it! I really wanted to take the coordinator's position! But I was also afraid that my poor time management will not allow me to add yet another responsibility to carry; I feared that not only will my grades suffer, but I'll mess up the camp too!
But I also know that I want to serve and grow in my leadership abilities. If I don't step out in faith and take this chance, I will stay where I'm at. I don't want to wait for the next camp or until I have less things to do (I realize that'll be never). So at church I told Jack, "Um, can I be the coordinator for the winter camp?" Surprisingly, Jack immediately said, "Sure! The job is yours!" and walked off. Wow, I'm going to coordinate a camp!! I was beyond excitement!! Then I asked Tiffa to work with me, and she agreed. Now I have a partner! I have a little more than a month to pray and prepare for this camp, Lord help me!
Today Jack talked about God being our fortress and refuge. In Acts 18: 9, God said to Paul, who was in prison, "Do not be afraid, do not be silent, no one will harm you, because I have a lot of people in this town." The Lord is faithful and He will never turn away from us when we face failure or danger. Both Jeniffer and Jasmine shared today. I was so encouraged by Jeniffer's vision; I want to be that spark in someone else's life! Jasmine's poem (she really really need to make it into a song!), "Get into it", was totally awesome; her prayers during worship really touched me too. Annie told us, at the end of worship, that it is our season, to rise up, to know God,to wake up from our slumber, and to know God's purpose in our lives. We need to love our church because it is Christ's body.
Going to church is so important. Many people don't bother to, thinking, "Why should I go when I can just pray at home?" But church brings believers together and helps everyone know and love Jesus even more. I love Impact; it is the second best thing (being saved by Jesus is the best) that ever happened to me. I really can't imagine what kind of person and what kind of life I'll be living right now if I never went to Impact. Thank You Jesus!
"Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight, I will praise You with the harp, O God, my God." (Psalms 43: 4)
Last night at 7-11, Jack said that we need a coordinator for this year's winter camp for new leaders. There are two camps this year: one for current leaders, and the other for future leaders. I was so excited about it! I really wanted to take the coordinator's position! But I was also afraid that my poor time management will not allow me to add yet another responsibility to carry; I feared that not only will my grades suffer, but I'll mess up the camp too!
But I also know that I want to serve and grow in my leadership abilities. If I don't step out in faith and take this chance, I will stay where I'm at. I don't want to wait for the next camp or until I have less things to do (I realize that'll be never). So at church I told Jack, "Um, can I be the coordinator for the winter camp?" Surprisingly, Jack immediately said, "Sure! The job is yours!" and walked off. Wow, I'm going to coordinate a camp!! I was beyond excitement!! Then I asked Tiffa to work with me, and she agreed. Now I have a partner! I have a little more than a month to pray and prepare for this camp, Lord help me!
Today Jack talked about God being our fortress and refuge. In Acts 18: 9, God said to Paul, who was in prison, "Do not be afraid, do not be silent, no one will harm you, because I have a lot of people in this town." The Lord is faithful and He will never turn away from us when we face failure or danger. Both Jeniffer and Jasmine shared today. I was so encouraged by Jeniffer's vision; I want to be that spark in someone else's life! Jasmine's poem (she really really need to make it into a song!), "Get into it", was totally awesome; her prayers during worship really touched me too. Annie told us, at the end of worship, that it is our season, to rise up, to know God,to wake up from our slumber, and to know God's purpose in our lives. We need to love our church because it is Christ's body.
Going to church is so important. Many people don't bother to, thinking, "Why should I go when I can just pray at home?" But church brings believers together and helps everyone know and love Jesus even more. I love Impact; it is the second best thing (being saved by Jesus is the best) that ever happened to me. I really can't imagine what kind of person and what kind of life I'll be living right now if I never went to Impact. Thank You Jesus!
"Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight, I will praise You with the harp, O God, my God." (Psalms 43: 4)
Saturday, October 27
A Tragic Event
The wildfire situation still wasn't settled. At least 12 people died, and 2,000 homes were destroyed. I cried as I prayed for the victims; I can't imagine my house being burnt down and my family becoming refugees. This disaster drove me to pray for my campus and gave me a chance to share the love of God. It was amazing when I asked my roommate, whose family in SD was at risk of being evacuated, whether she would like to pray together, that she said yes. After we prayed, we hugged each other, feeling less like strangers to each other. In the end, her family didn't even have to evacuate, while thousands of people did. God is good. I called my friends at SD Bread of Life Church, and they said that though they did evacuate, most of them already returned to their homes. Hallelujah!
This devastating event made me anxious to pray and help those evacuees in every way possible. I teamed up with my RA to collect supply and money donations in the hall. As for me, I gave all the money, $100, that I had away. I struggled because I wanted to use that money to buy Christmas gifts for my beloved family (especially my Mom, I had wanted to buy her a nice coat) and friends. Yet the Lord gently reminded me that the people out there suffering, need the money more than my family need Christmas gifts. I also donated supplies like lotion and water bottles. It was really hard for me to give away my blankets, because my Mom bought those for me and I really treasured them. But again, those victims need the extra blankets more than I do. Jesus, I have always wanted to help people who were in need, I've told myself countless times, "If only I had millions of dollars, I would be able to help the orphaned, the starved, the tortured, and the needy". I finally got a chance to give and help those who are desperately in need. Thank You Jesus!
"I do not hide Your righteousness in my heart; I speak of Your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal Your love and Your truth from the great assembly." (Psalms 40:8)
This devastating event made me anxious to pray and help those evacuees in every way possible. I teamed up with my RA to collect supply and money donations in the hall. As for me, I gave all the money, $100, that I had away. I struggled because I wanted to use that money to buy Christmas gifts for my beloved family (especially my Mom, I had wanted to buy her a nice coat) and friends. Yet the Lord gently reminded me that the people out there suffering, need the money more than my family need Christmas gifts. I also donated supplies like lotion and water bottles. It was really hard for me to give away my blankets, because my Mom bought those for me and I really treasured them. But again, those victims need the extra blankets more than I do. Jesus, I have always wanted to help people who were in need, I've told myself countless times, "If only I had millions of dollars, I would be able to help the orphaned, the starved, the tortured, and the needy". I finally got a chance to give and help those who are desperately in need. Thank You Jesus!
"I do not hide Your righteousness in my heart; I speak of Your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal Your love and Your truth from the great assembly." (Psalms 40:8)
7-11 Update!
Tonight at cell group we talked about our week, discussed the Thanksgiving Party, and celebrated Kay's birthday. Annie encouraged us to to morning devotion everyday and Jack gave us a challenge: incorporate Proverbs 4:23 in your conversation with friends this week. Jack also told us that there are two e's in a cell group: evangelism and edification. What we do every Saturday night is edifying ourselves; we encourage each other and kindle the passion for Jesus. But we also need to reach out to others by evangelizing and spreading the gospel.
Hm, I haven't been doing so well on the latter; edification, devotion, going to church, and praying had all being nice and dandy, but it's been such as while since I last witnessed or talked about Jesus to nonbelievers. I did talk about Christianity with friends back in the beginning of this month. It was because a guy was standing in the middle of campus holding a gigantic sign that read: "Don't go to hell" I thanked God for such a good chance to talk about faith with nonbelievers, but in the end, I was so nervous, that I only asked about how they felt about the blunt demonstration and touched lightly on the possibility of heaven and hell's existence. I also said grace at meal times with my friends though they looked at me oddly. Once my hall mate saw me reading the Bible during midterms week and she exclaimed, "What? You still have time to read the Bible?" There was also that time when I mentioned in a hall gathering that my passion was about Christianity, yet I said it in such an awkward way, "Yea, I go to church, so I'm interested when people are talking about the Bible and Christianity" I had sounded anything but passionate about Jesus. Other than these lame and passive attempts, I've not being testifying about God's love and salvation.
I had walked around the campus a couple of times, praying and hoping to share the gospel. I saw people with crutches, with castes, and other injuries, yet I've always cowered at the last moment and allowed them to pass me by. Oh how many times have I felt terrible for not grabbing the chance! How many times have I prayed and vowed that I won't run away the next time! Lord have mercy and give Your servant boldness to reach out to those who aren't saved yet.
"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes." (Romans 1:16)
Lord, let me be like Paul!
Hm, I haven't been doing so well on the latter; edification, devotion, going to church, and praying had all being nice and dandy, but it's been such as while since I last witnessed or talked about Jesus to nonbelievers. I did talk about Christianity with friends back in the beginning of this month. It was because a guy was standing in the middle of campus holding a gigantic sign that read: "Don't go to hell" I thanked God for such a good chance to talk about faith with nonbelievers, but in the end, I was so nervous, that I only asked about how they felt about the blunt demonstration and touched lightly on the possibility of heaven and hell's existence. I also said grace at meal times with my friends though they looked at me oddly. Once my hall mate saw me reading the Bible during midterms week and she exclaimed, "What? You still have time to read the Bible?" There was also that time when I mentioned in a hall gathering that my passion was about Christianity, yet I said it in such an awkward way, "Yea, I go to church, so I'm interested when people are talking about the Bible and Christianity" I had sounded anything but passionate about Jesus. Other than these lame and passive attempts, I've not being testifying about God's love and salvation.
I had walked around the campus a couple of times, praying and hoping to share the gospel. I saw people with crutches, with castes, and other injuries, yet I've always cowered at the last moment and allowed them to pass me by. Oh how many times have I felt terrible for not grabbing the chance! How many times have I prayed and vowed that I won't run away the next time! Lord have mercy and give Your servant boldness to reach out to those who aren't saved yet.
"I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes." (Romans 1:16)
Lord, let me be like Paul!
Friday, October 26
A Perfect Day
Lord good morning :)
Last night I read a book, "A Perfect Day" by Richard Evans, about a man whose life was transformed because he thought he was dying. The book made me cried so many times. It made me feel horrible that I didn't cherish and love the people around me wholeheartedly. Life can end unexpectedly, and I don't want any regrets. I think the author is a Christian, because he said we need to have a good relationship with God; he wrote many other books that focused on inspiring and healing people. I think I found my favorite writer~~
After reading the book I wrote a letter to my Dad. Mom has told me to write to him ever since I got into college, but I never got to it. " We do not neglect others because we have ceased to love; rather we cease to love others because we have neglected them." (A Perfect Day, pg120) I was heartbroken when I read this, because in many ways I have neglected my family at Taiwan, including my Dad. Lord, thank You for bringing this book into my life at just the right time.
This morning I turned to read Psalms 39, and verses 4 and 5 stunned me: David said, "Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere hand breadth; the span of my years is as nothing before You. Each man's life is but a breath."
Oh. My. LORD!! I just read a book about how fragile life is and the very next day the Lord confirmed again that I need to cherish every moment of life. WOW, this is so cool! Lord thank You for speaking to me so many times, in similar situations like this, through the Word!
Last night I read a book, "A Perfect Day" by Richard Evans, about a man whose life was transformed because he thought he was dying. The book made me cried so many times. It made me feel horrible that I didn't cherish and love the people around me wholeheartedly. Life can end unexpectedly, and I don't want any regrets. I think the author is a Christian, because he said we need to have a good relationship with God; he wrote many other books that focused on inspiring and healing people. I think I found my favorite writer~~
After reading the book I wrote a letter to my Dad. Mom has told me to write to him ever since I got into college, but I never got to it. " We do not neglect others because we have ceased to love; rather we cease to love others because we have neglected them." (A Perfect Day, pg120) I was heartbroken when I read this, because in many ways I have neglected my family at Taiwan, including my Dad. Lord, thank You for bringing this book into my life at just the right time.
This morning I turned to read Psalms 39, and verses 4 and 5 stunned me: David said, "Show me, O LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere hand breadth; the span of my years is as nothing before You. Each man's life is but a breath."
Oh. My. LORD!! I just read a book about how fragile life is and the very next day the Lord confirmed again that I need to cherish every moment of life. WOW, this is so cool! Lord thank You for speaking to me so many times, in similar situations like this, through the Word!
Thursday, October 25
Apart From You I Have No Good Thing
Oh Lord, thank You for Your abundant love. Jesus I love You!
I was just looking back in my devotional journal and saw how You've blessed me and poured down Your grace upon me. Oh Jesus I love You. Please help me to focus on You and not wasting any more of my time and energy on doubting You.
Lord, I have no good apart from You. Jesus, I'm so blessed in Your loving arms that it makes me want to cry. God I'll push everything that distracts me from You aside. For Your love is better than wine, better than anything that this world has to offer! Lord I put my need for a job, my academic performance, and my future career plans into Your hands, Oh Jesus, I rely on You. I love You. "But I have stilled and quited my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me." (Psalms 131:2)
God in You I find true peace and satisfaction. Jesus I want to live the rest of my life hungering for You.
Wednesday, October 24
Your Love, O LORD, Reaches to the Heavens
I love Microsoft Paint!!"Your love,O LORD,reaches to the heavens,Your faithfulness to the skies." (Psalms 36:5)
God's love is so good.
Introduction
Greetings everyone!
I'm so excited to start my new blog!(Though there are no guarantees that I'll keep up with it) I wasn't able to be consistent with xanga or facebook, but I think this time it'll work. Because I want to improve my writing skills by updating my diary daily, and I want to be able to look back and self-reflect.
Well, as the title suggested, I am a GodChick. What is that? Simple. It is a woman who loves and knows that she is loved by God. This blog will be a journal on my walk with my Savior, Jesus Christ.
That's about it for my intro, feel free to look around this site!
I'm so excited to start my new blog!(Though there are no guarantees that I'll keep up with it) I wasn't able to be consistent with xanga or facebook, but I think this time it'll work. Because I want to improve my writing skills by updating my diary daily, and I want to be able to look back and self-reflect.
Well, as the title suggested, I am a GodChick. What is that? Simple. It is a woman who loves and knows that she is loved by God. This blog will be a journal on my walk with my Savior, Jesus Christ.
That's about it for my intro, feel free to look around this site!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)