A Beautiful Day

God I love You, You're so beautiful!

I loved the rain today, it's so cool and refreshing. As I walked to class, I saw how the trees and flowers are flourishing in the shower, and I could hear all creations singing praises to our God. Jesus, thank You for Your beautiful creations, thank You for Your abundant love, thank You for Your goodness, thank You for Your grace.

Before I went into the classroom, a lady gave me a tiny brochure. "The Evidence of God" the title read, and my heart bounded a little faster. Alright, people are spreading the gospel! I thought. Sadly, the girl walking ahead of me took one glance at the brochure and tossed it into the trashcan.

The brochure tells of the story of how a former atheist come to encounter God. Lee was a strong believer in Evolution and rejected Creationism completely, yet after a mass amount of research, Lee found Evolution not only lacking much evidence but quite unreasonable as well.

Lord I pray for Your truth to be know on my campus, let more people's hearts be changed and turn to You! Reach Your hand into this school!

Let Fire Fall Down On My Campus

Thank You Jesus!

Isabel, my hallmate, actually invited me to a Bible study group!! A friend from Orchestra (Isabel plays the cello) brought her there. "I'm not really believing yet," she said, "but I'm curious. So how did you come to believe in God?" I shared with her about how I got saved three years ago and how God's love has been transforming me and others around me. I am so excited for her! At the same time I feel ashamed; I haven't been praying for her or trying to win her for the Lord, and she turned out to be the one asking me to a Bible study group! God You are GOOD! Help me to lead her to You. Unfortunately Bible study seemed to be canceled this week, hope we can go together next week!

Today I prayed for Cindy, Isabel's roommate, who has been very very sick this week. She didn't stop coughing after I prayed for her, but I know God is healing her. Our God is a God who heals!

Jesus I love You, please give me a compassionate heart for the lost, and use me to bring Your people to You.

"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ. And so through Him the 'Amen' is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anoints us, set His seal of ownership on us, and put His Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." (2 Corinthians 1:20~23)

Lord Am I Ugly?

I had always wanted to be skinny.

I would look at others around me and envy. There were periods of time when I wanted to be skinny so bad that I was willing to do anything to lose weight. During the Thanksgiving break, that desire exploded in me. I limited myself to eating only main meals (my mom will kill me if I don't eat) and vowed that I'll starve myself once I return to school. I hated my fat body.

Last night I felt overwhelmed by loneliness and self-condemnation. I came before God. I struggled as I told my Lord about the countless times I've looked in the mirror and said,"You are so ugly with your small eyes, stupid glasses, pimples, and fat body!", about how I was so jealous of those pretty girls with their perfect bodies, and about how I wanted to starve myself.

"God!" I cried out, "Help me! I am sinning against You with my rebellious heart! God I need You! I'm losing it! I want to have a healthy self-image, I want to look at myself the way You do, I want to believe that I am beautiful in Your eyes, but I just can't! I can't! Lord help me to surrender my all to You once again..." I was sobbing, I felt so ugly, so hurt.

Then I heard Him, clear as if He was right there with me,

"I am your Shepherd, I am your Father, you belong to me, I'll take care of you..."

Immediately I felt a wave of peace washing over me, calming the storm inside of me. I felt His hand lifting the burden from my heart. I felt Him pouring new strength into me. My Heavenly Father was holding me in His loving arms, telling me over and over again that I was His own and that He'll take care of me. Tears streamed down my face as I feel my heart being healed by God.

This isn't going to be easy. It will take time. But my Lord will be there helping me to recover a healthy self-image, He will be there guiding me on the right path. God has given me the strength to choose eating healthy and exercising regularly instead of starving myself.

God I pray for everyone who feels ugly and worthless. I pray for those who feel they are too fat, too skinny, too tall, or too short. God please fill them with Your love. Lord, in this society that constantly distort our perception of beauty, it is so hard to feel beautiful and valuable. It is so hurtful. Jesus please help us, help us to know that You see beyond our physical appearances, that You treasure us simply because we are Yours. God please heal those suffering from eating disorders, depression, and drug addiction. Lord free the prisoners! God Your grace is strong enough!

Jesus thank You, thank You for giving me hope, faith, and new strength. Abba Father I love You!

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves; from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death." (Psalms68:19~20)

And now I'm going to go eat some fruit :)

"Your beauty...should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1Peter3:3~4)

Sunday Service

Hey! Wasn't today's worship beautiful? It touched my heart so much; I was reminded to thank Jesus for all His love and grace. Thank You Lord!

Today Jack reminded us again that the Holy Spirit is still writing the book of Acts even now: how Sarah prayed for the sick at Rite Aid, how Stephanie heard God telling her about the science building, how Eric encountered the Lord in his morning jog, how Jasmine and Monay testified for God at UCLA...will all be eagerly recorded down by the Holy Spirit. We need to put our antenna up and constantly listen to what God has to say to us.

Joke of the Week: Paul was teaching on the third floor of a building, and a young man sitting by the window dozed off (perhaps he partied too hard last night). The sleepyhead fell out of the window and plunged to his death. Paul immediately ran down and God raised the man from death (cool! they didn't even need to dial 911!)--Acts 20: 7~12

Moral of the Story: Don't fall asleep when your pastor is preaching, you never what will happen to you.

This hilarious but true story also shows us what our generation is like: sleeping and being killed off one by one by the enemy. We will see more and more signs and wonders toward the end of times. The devil will do everything in his power to corrupt this generation; he is raising up an army. What are we going to do about it? We are either on God's side or on Satan's side, there is no middle ground. Either we have oil in our lamp or we don't. It's a yes or no. We must develop a close relationship with God!

But Jack saved the best for last, his topic for today is actually about criticism.

How To Overcome Criticism

1. Know that our God is Jehovah Tsidkenu, God is our righteousness. When others criticize or misunderstand us, we need to turn to God, who will take our cases and carry out justice for us.

2. Know that it is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35). When people stab us in the back with cruel remarks, we can forgive instead of take revenge by stabbing back. We can demonstrate God's love by blessing those who mistreat us. Rather than punching the light out of your friend when she laughs at your bad haircut, forgive and compliment her haircut; rather than shouting at your dad when he criticizes your "inappropriate" outfit for the hundredth time, think about how he made that remark out of love and thank him for his concern; rather than ambushing the king Saul in your life, put everything in God's hands.

3. Rejoice in our Heavenly Father's love for us. God doesn't tell us to shut up when we cry. He grieves with us when we are hurt by other people's criticisms. Jesus comforts and tries to cheer us up when we cry. Remember this image: a father trying to ease his child's pain by tickling him, that is our loving God.

Overcoming criticism also requires humility. Paul has been persecuted and criticized everywhere he went, yet he never gave up. How did he do it? Here's Paul's secret: "I serve the Lord with great humility and with tears..." (Acts 20:19). Great humility doesn't mean great sense of worthlessness. It comes from knowing who God is and who you are to Him. To be humble is to glorify God in everything you do; humility is the attitude you have when you respond to God's love and greatness. Paul knew that God is faithful and that he is a beloved child to Him, so people's criticisms couldn't bring him down. Moreover, when Paul said that he served the Lord with tears, he didn't mean tears of self-pity. Paul didn't cry for the trials and persecutions, he cried for the lost; he knew God's heart's desires. Our tears shouldn't be wasted on people's criticisms, we should lend our tears for God's heart to save the lost.

God is so good! I learned a lot today.

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us." (Romans5:5)

Happy Thanks Giving!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Besides from the awesome four-day break, this holiday should also be about blessing others with what we have. Other than studying and having fun, what else can I do? Well, a lot! I will:

1. Grab this chance to share God's love with family members through actions instead of words.
2. Help out preparing dinner.
3. Talk to relatives after dinner instead of just chilling with cousins or watching TV.
4. Help clean up the tables.
5. Hug my relatives.
6. Write to my family at Taiwan.
7. Give a donation to International Christian Concerns to help those persecuted for their faith.
8. Thank my God for who He is and what He has done

Also, since Thanksgiving is also about giving thanks to those around me...

Thank You Annie: For all your prayers and the time you invested in me, for listening to my endless venting, for every single hug, for buying me that gift from VS (I donno if you remember, it was two years ago, you bought it as a reward for me getting into AP English), for dreaming for me, for making me feel like I'm beautiful and valuable, for all your advices and encouragements, and for getting me through depression. Annie your love helped me to accept God's love; you've helped me grow and mature into a woman in God.

Thank You Amy: for all those times you told me that I'm the best sister in the world (next to Sala), for teaching me how to love with patience, for encouraging me with your pure heart of worship, for every letter (folded into airplanes) of apology you gave me after our fight when we were little (even when it was clearly my fault and I should have been the one apologizing), for teaching me humility, for that absolutely delicious cake you baked for my 18 birthday, and for being the cutest little sister in the world.

Thank You Eric: for making me feel welcomed when I first went to Impact, for your friendship, for your commitment to God, and for the genuine way you treat friends.

Thank You George: for your awesome sense of humor, for loving everyone around you, for being a faithful brother in Christ, and for encouraging others with your testimonies.

Thank You Jack: for loving me even when I'm being difficult, for your patient guidance, for giving me a father figure to follow, for hugging me that Christmas party, for bandaging my deepest wounds, for replying all of my crazy long emails with such caring detail, for helping me build a healthy self-image, for leading me to Christ, for interceding for me, for challenging me to grow, for equipping me to overcome strongholds...man, I can't type anymore, I'm crying too much, thank you for being my shepherd and guiding me on my walk with Jesus!

Thank You Jennifer: for enduring three whole weeks of living with me at Kansas (haha), for encouraging me that time at the hotel when I was feeling like a loser, for being so real and genuine in loving, for praying for me at church the other day (I was crying and you prayed for God's protection over me, a lady prayed for my protection again at GodChick), for strengthening my faith with yours, for giving me the honor of being your comrade and sister in Christ.

Thank You Jasmine: for hugging me almost every time we meet, for being so open, for letting me take part in turning one of your beautiful poems into a song, for lending me those DVDs, for practicing the drama with me in the parking lot (haha, remember? it was just us), for inviting me to sleep over (even though we didn't get to do it), and for being a true, good friend. I love you!

Thank You J: for teaching me the chicken dance (haha, thanks to you, our skit had a great ending), for encouraging me with your diligent lifestyle, and for your wholehearted worship to God.

Thank You Joshuah: for saying "good job Alice" so many times I've lost count, for being a loving and supportive brother in Christ, for the way you humbly serve those around you, and for setting an example for all of us by sharing the gospel with your co-workers.

Thank You MQ: for lighting that spark in me with your passion for God, for giving me my first professional haircut (if it weren't for you, my hair would still have the same style I was born with), for giving me my second professional haircut (I guess bangs don't work for me), and for your kindness and encouragement.

Thank You Monay: for showing me what being genuine to others mean, for bringing joy and laughter wherever you go, for encouraging me with how patiently you answered the girl's tough and endless questions at Supernatural on Campus, for blessing me with your love for Jesus.

Thank You May: for being my spiritual partner, for keeping me accountable all those times, for memorizing Bible verses with me, for letting me go to your house that time I didn't feel like going home, for praying with me at AHS all those lunch times, for saving me from the afternoon heat by giving me rides home, for taking me to church countless sundays, for always being so honest with me, for staying by my side during my depression, and for keeping me going hard after Jesus.

Thank You Priscilla: for being such a fun friend to be with, for sharing what you experienced at STI in detail to me, for trusting in God no matter what, and for your heart of serving others.

Thank You Sarah: for praying for me when I was still a Jehovah's Witness, for bringing me to Impact, for leading me to Jesus, for being such a loving and caring sister, for buying that ipod for me, for arranging that surprise party for my sweet 16, for cheering me up countless times when I'm angry, for giving me so many chances to shape my talents (letting me help preparing summer camp..etc.), for believing in me, for treating me to meals, for taking me to so many places with you, for sharing your life with me, and for setting an example for me. I seriously don't know what kind of person I would be if it weren't for you, always, always being there for me, guiding me along the way. Thank you sarah...

Thank You Stephanie: for your warm friendship, for giving me a ride so many times during our summer camp preparation, for being so caring when I was feeling down because of my roommate, for giving me words of encouragement, and for calling me "girlie" :)

Thank You Stacey: for forgiving my attitude, for being an awesome sister in Christ, for always coming before God with such a pure heart, and for caring for the people around you.

Thank You Tiffany: for being my fantastically wonderfully crazy good partner! for being one of the few people I can pour my heart out to, for your love and support, for all those laughters, for encouraging me to never ever give up on God, for being such a prayer warrior, for that beautiful card and gift you gave me for my birthday, for sharing what's on your mind with me, for helping me translate that long letter to my dad, for encouraging me with all those great testimonies, for chatting on the phone with me, and for this great friendship we have with each other. You are so awesome!!

I Need Discipline!

YAY! Today I'm a good girl! Thank You Lord, for helping me discipline myself, God You've brought hope into my life and helped me to get organized.

So I got up early and didn't miss Psychology lecture, then I ate breakfast, and did devotion. Today I read Psalms 63 and boy, I think I just found my favorite chapter of Psalms:

"O God, You are my God, earnestly I seek You, my soul thirsts for You, my body longs for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
I have seen You in the sanctuary and beheld You power and Your glory.
Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You.
I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise You.
On my bed I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night.
Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings.
My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me."
(Psalms63:1~8)

God helped me to lift my head up, abandon all my worries, trust in Him, and run with Him. In my weakness I enjoyed His presence and hungered after knowing Him even more.

Afterwards I took a shower, went to math discussion class, ate lunch, and did devotion. Man, this time God impacted me so strongly during worship that my heart just seemed to explode with joy and desire for my Savior! I felt all the pressure, stress, and burden leave me as I sang "You're always good, You're always good". The Lord strengthened me through worship.

Then I called Cindy, and together we went to study. I've finally found a study buddy, now I have someone to keep me accountable so I won't procrastinate. Cindy taught me alot of interesting study strategies, and I was actually able to get biology now. Praise God!

At 4:30pm I left for my health leaders class. Today we talked about the use of tobacco on campus. There's this thing called hooka, it's like a big pot with a long tube to smoke from; people would gather around the hooka and pass the tube around. It's very addicting and worse than smoking cigarettes. Many people are using the hooka with friends on a regular basis, even the people in my health class. Yet at the end, what was the speaker's suggestion? "Well, I'm not telling you not to smoke hooka, but here's a way to prevent disease transmission when you are smoking hooka: bring your own mouthpiece, I think they are selling them at the hooka bars as well." I just gaped at her. Unbelievable! That's how you do health education? Teaching them the "safe" way to smoke? When I got back to my dorm I started praying for my school.

Dear God, let Your power shake this campus, wash it clean of sexual immoralities and drug addictions! God I repent for the sins of my fellow students, have mercy and come down in Your power! Remind me daily to cry out for this campus, God save Your children from the enemy's traps! It is absolutely heartbreaking how people are trashing their bodies and being chained to addictions. Lord let Your light shine in this place.

Now it's time for more studying! No more procrastinating!

A New Week

Oh Jesus I feel so depressed...I think I'm failing both math and biology. I don't want to fail any class! It would mean that I've wasted a whole quarter's time away plus lots of money.

Lord I feel so bad; I've been ditching classes (I can't count how many times I've overslept and missed my morning classes) and procrastinating. What am I doing? You've given me such grace to go to college and this is how I show my gratitude? I'm scared, finals are less than a month away...God I don't want to waste anymore precious time away, help me to live a focused and purpose-driven life! Help me to live with wisdom and obedience to Your commandments.

God change my attitude, fill me with Your Spirit, and guide me to follow You. Help me to spend more time with people in school; how can I share the gospel and love people (the second greatest commandment) if I refuse to get out of my shell and comfort zone? Jesus You are good, forgive my sins, open my eyes to see Your glory, open my ears to hear Your voice. God I need You. Wake me up from my slumber and remind me that I am a soldier in war. God please be my strength and help me to fight!

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!" (1 Corinthians10:12)

Sunday Service

I actually updated Saturday and Sunday's entries on Monday. I never get anytime to blog during the weekends, so I always do it when I get back to school.

Today I was supposed to give a teaching on ch.3 of "Passion for Jesus" by Mike Bickle. I was so nervous and really wanted someone to pray for me. I didn't say anything to Sarah, but when we prayed for today's worship, she prayed for me. Then she led everyone to pray for me again after worship. Then Jennifer prayed for me when she prayed for today's offering. All those prayers reminded me that I wasn't supposed to rely on my "eloquence" or human wisdom; I was merely a vessel for the magnificent Jesus!

During worship, I looked at the people around me and felt God's intense love for them; oh how beautiful they are, how lovely their voices are! The Lord is completely rejoiced over them; He is so pleased by His beloved children! God's passionate love overwhelmed me and I started to cry; His love is so gentle, so good. We are all so blessed!

After the teaching, Jack talked about Acts 19. The disciples, led by Paul, was causing a riot in that city. People were burning their idols and the businessmen were running out of business. Furious, they went to the court. Jack reminded us that, as Christians, we should cause chaos wherever we go! Paul brought many to Christ in that city, and people turned away from sorcery. Sorcery doesn't just mean witchcraft, it also means addiction. So if we are addicted to something then we are practicing sorcery and idolatry! Wow, I've never thought of it in that sense. Our idols could be anything: shopping, watching TV, playing video games, even writing blogs! If we are spending more time in a day blogging than spending time with God. We have a problem. We need to turn away from whatever idols we may be worshiping now and back to the One who created us. Isaiah 64 said that we are the clay, what God made. He wants to shape us into beautiful vessels.

Here's Jack's challenge of the week: pray this prayer "God You're my Potter, mold me and shape me" everyday, God loves that! When we ask Him that, He'll most certainly answer, and "interesting" things will start happening in our lives. As God shapes us, we'll come to realize many of our faults.

That night after Mom drove me back to Irvine (I missed the Hillsong concert, again!!), I began my night devotion. During prayer the Lord taught me to humble before Him and allow Him to shape me. Oh Jesus You are good! All I am is a weak soul completely blessed by You and dependent on Your grace! I will thrive in my weakness, for in my weaknesses Your power is shown. Lord let me decrease while You increase; let me go lower while You continue being lifted higher. Shine in my life Lord! Shape me and mold me, for You are my Potter.

"Give us aid against the enemy, for the help of man is worthless. With God we will gain the victory, and He will trample down our enemies." (Psalms60:11~12)

7-11 Update!

It was such a fun night! In the afternoon (I really like the new time for our cell group) I drove Amy, Jasmine, Monay, and myself to Jack&Annie's place. I was a terrible driver and made all of us late (sorry guys!) thank You Lord for protecting us on our way there!

Anyways, during 7-11 we talked about Jennifer's awesome dream, Stephanie's new friends at Long Beach, and Jasmine&Monay's song. That song was so moving, and it was amazing how God led Jasmine to introduce that song at exactly the time Wave decided to have a candle-lighting opening at the party! The song was about lighting the darkness with candles, a perfect match for the opening; coincidence? I think NOT!

Then Annie had us discuss what we should do when an "oddball" (for example, a girl who dresses a little too revealing) joins Impact. Annie taught us that we shouldn't treat such a person with a criticizing heart; we should be sensitive, caring, and tending to the person's needs. Sometimes, we don't necessarily have to "preach" to the person; all we need to do is to be her friend and continue to intercede for her. That discussion made me realize how quick I had always been to judge the people around me; Lord please give me a humble and loving heart.

After 7-11, Sarah took Monay, Jasmine, Amy and I to Shakey's for dinner. We had a great time. Sarah encouraged all of us to pray for a certain family or someone in the restaurant. So we all did. Amy was nervous at first and asked us what exactly should she say when she approaches the person. But then she just stood up and walked up to that person all by herself and asked him (an employee eating by himself) if she could pray for him! We were all so surprised by her courage! Even though he turned down her offer, Amy's action encouraged all of us.

Jesus, You are so good, please continue to shape us and mold us to become more like You. Help us to be the light of the world!

A Lesson On Humility

This morning I did devotion as usual, worshiping Him with songs and prayers. Yet today my heart was hard and my spirit was battling within me.

God I'm scared, I feel lost, I'm strangled by my sins. Jesus I just want to escape from reality and all those problems from dealing with people.

God, I have a horrible attitude with my Mom. Whenever she's trying to give me some suggestions, I'd feel like she's looking down at me. "See, your God can't do anything," her disapproving stare seems to say, "If He's so powerful and you worship Him, why are you still the same, prideful, and selfish brat that you've always been?" Oh God, whenever I face my Mom, she would start picking on me, making me feel so weak and imperfect. Lord, I guess that's how You make me humble and help me realize that I have been prideful; I've been thinking that I'm better than my Mom and everyone else because I'm so "holy", that's why I get so angry whenever she gives me the tiniest advice. "Who are you to criticize me?" That had always been my attitude.

My pride is corrupting my worship; Lord, how can I worship You with such an arrogant heart? Oh Jesus I want to be real now, I want to live with honesty. I'll admit my flaws and accept correction from people, I'll humbly love and serve them. I want to be authentic! I don't want to live with a prideful heart, an angrily condemning spirit, and a haughty mask saying "I'm holy and perfect in loving God and people and you are not." Jesus forgive me! Have mercy on me! I surrender to You. Please help me, today, to love and serve those around me with a genuine and humble heart.

God, I've been so ridiculous, thinking that I gotta be perfect for people to believe in You. Who am I? Who am I to think that I can convince them with my "fake perfection" better than You can? God doesn't need me perfect to save souls; Jesus is good no matter what I do. God is good enough and I don't need to do do anything to "make Him look better". God Himself is good enough to make people fall head over heels for Him.

Lord I thank You for this lesson, please keep it in my heart...Lord I'll show people for who I really am: weak and sinful. Yet Your love is so great that You would patiently shape and mold me to be more and more like Christ. That's what good witnesses are: they show people how weak they really are to demonstrate just how graceful and good God really is. Lord I want to be a true witness instead of an arrogant, self-righteous one. Jesus I love You! Thank You for Your love, grace, patience, and mercy!

"Take my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart..." (Matthew11:29)

A Taste Of Heaven

DUDE! I JUST HAD THE MOST AWESOME EXPERIENCE EVER!!! I spent two hours worshiping, praying, reading the word, and just soaking in God's love. It was so good.

Have you ever felt that you need to pray but didn't really want to? That's what I felt, but then I realized that my spirit was crying out for Him, and I decided to give myself two hours to do devotion. That was probably the best two hours I've ever spent in my entire eighteen years of life. It was the end of the day, my roommate already went back to SD so I was all alone in the room; I simply turned on some music and began praising Him.

During worship, I started dancing like crazy. I mean crazy! My arms were flopping around and my legs were kicking everywhere. "Man, this is one ugly dance," I thought to myself, so I began to follow the rhythm, and then it was like the Holy Spirit was guiding my clumsy movements and turning them into a graceful dance. Oh His joy filled and overflowed in me! I was going absolutely hysterical with joy! I'm so blessed! So blessed to be loved by God! So blessed to be saved by Jesus! So blessed to be able to spend eternity with my Creator! Jesus You are so GOOD! I was so hungry after Him! Such yearning! Worship can really reignite a hunger in our spirits for God!

It's really great to allow myself a long time to encounter God; I had always stuck devotion in the morning and in between classes, which made me hurry and unable to enjoy fellowship with God. Short devotions are good, but long ones are important too. It is during those times that I could really go deeper and have the patience to wait upon Him.

That was totally the highlight of my day, whatever else I did wasn't important. If I finished all my studying and homework but didn't spend time with Jesus, I would count today as wasted.

God I love You! Please continue to shape me into the person You want me to be! I want to know You more!

"My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn." (Psalms57:7~8)

Nightmare

Last night was so scary.

I went to bed at 12, happy to finally get to bed early, and drifted off to sleep. At 3:30am I woke up, went to the restroom, and tried to get back to sleep. Strangely, I became really paranoid and kept thinking that ghost heads will appear at my bedside. I was so scared, my roommate wasn't home, so I turned on the lights. The fear didn't go away. After nearly two horrible hours of tossing and turning, I fell asleep, only to experience one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. I can't recall most of the dream, only that I was being tortured by this girl and being completely terrified. At the end, I found myself struggling to get out of a lake, there was something evil in the lake. I had to get out! At the same time I was trying to wake up, but I couldn't! I could physically feel my limbs going numb as I struggled in the dream. I was so scared! So horrified! So helpless! The girl was laughing at me and saying, "Alice, don't you just hate spiritual warfare?" I was screaming in my head. Finally I woke up, feeling nauseated and dizzy. Oh Lord, why didn't I ask for Your help?

That morning after class, I immediately came back to do devotion. Jesus removed my fear and filled me with peace. "You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning. My God turns my darkness into light" (Psalms 18:28) I just memorized that verse the day before, why couldn't I remember it last night? Every time I face fear, I would panic and all my faith, trust, and strength would dissolve, leaving me lost. Jesus please help me, train me to run to You whenever I'm in trouble! Something really cool happened during devotion. The portion I was going to read today was Psalms 56, and it talked about trusting God when confronted by fear!

"When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid..." (v.3~4)

Amen! God You are so good! Once again I'll surrender every part of my life to You. Jesus reign in me, guide me, and teach me the way that I should go.

Midterms Midterms Midterms

I'm tired. I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired. Oh man I'm tired. I feel like my eyes are falling out. I studied the whole night and took my psych midterm at 8am this morning. One midterm down, two more to go: Biology tomorrow (!!) and math next Monday! I'm gonna pull an all-nighter tonight again...Jesus help...The good news is, my grade for this morning's midterm is already out, and I got a B!! Thank You Lord!!

Today at health class we talked about sexual safety. Man, there are so many STD's out there and so many (gross) ways to contract them! I think I want to be a virgin forever now...yuck! What really bothered me was how sex education is actually promoting sex. I mean, they are making it real convenient by offering unlimited free condoms everywhere! What are they doing?! People are trashing God's temple by mistreating their bodies and committing sexual immorality. Jesus' heart must be broken by the alarmingly high rate of teen pregnancies and people suffering from STD's...This is NOT ok!! God please intervene!

Jesus, I asked You today what Your purpose for my life is, and You told me that it is to shine for You, to lift up Your name in my campus. Lord please help me to carry my cross and walk in obedience to You! I pray that I'll be a living sacrifice, burning for You and declaring Your praises everywhere I go! My life has no meaning if I'm not living for You, for I was created by You and for You alone. God by Your grace I will follow You till the end of days! I love You Abba Father...

Lifehouse "Everything" Skit



No matter how hard the enemy fights to keep us from God, Jesus is faithful and will never abandon us.

"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans8:37~39)

My God Is Good!!

Jesus thank You!! My devotions are getting better in quality.I can be more concentrated when I'm worshiping and praying. God Your presence is so good!!I was jumping up and down in joy as we said "I love you!!" to each other!!Jesus I love You!!I was also praying for the salvation of my family members at Taiwan; I really need to call them or write them more and share God's love with them! I feel bad because my dad is always the one calling us, and I rarely write to him...Jesus help me and remind me to spend more time on my family! I pray that all of them will be saved!!

"I will sacrifice a freewill offering to You; I will praise Your name, O LORD, for it is good." (Psalms54:6)

Tonight I imitated what we did at the conference: I prayed for word of knowledge so I can do campus invasion. Here's a list of things I got:

A boy with a baseball cap, black backpack, baggypants, and holding a skateboard.
White fountain.
Someone smoking and pacing around.
Banana.
Fish, Sashimi. (Was I hungry when I prayed...?)
A girl with long black hair on a bike.

As I prayed, Jesus reminded me of (Matthew10:24) "A student is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master" If my Lord was persecuted, how can I expect myself to be accepted and praised? I need to go out there with the willingness to be ridiculed and scorned by others. Out of love Jesus suffered the pain, so I will do it out of love as well. Lord where You go I'll go, what You say I'll say, and what You pray I'll pray!Then I went out.

First I saw a guy on a wheelchair, so I ran up to him. But he started speeding forward! I continued to run after him, but he just went faster and faster! "Dude, this guy's pretty quick!" I thought. Finally I had to shout, "WAIT!" He heard me and slowed down to a stop.

"Hi um...this, this might sound...a little weird, but I just really want to pray for you," I said, trying to catch my breath.
"...You've been chasing after me this whole time?" He looked at me kinda funny

I was embarrassed, but I just said "yeah" and asked again if I can pray for him. He gladly accepted the offer. His name is Arial, and it turned out that he was born with this disease that would paralyze his legs sometimes, making him use a wheelchair; he could walk, but with great difficulty. Arial is a Christian, and he had prayed to God for healing many times before.

So I said a short prayer,"Dear Lord, in Your name I command the paralysis to go away, that he will be healed, because in Your kingdom, there is no sickness. In Jesus name I pray, Amen." Then I asked Arial to try walking around.
"Is this some kind of experiment?" Arial muttered as he limped around.
"Well, I still feel the same," Arial said after awhile. Not knowing what to do, I just assured him that God will heal him.
"Yeah, sometimes it just doesn't happen the way you think it would. Like God's giving you the seed when you asked for an apple," Arial replied. He thanked me and took off.

As I walked on, I realized I should have prayed for him a second time! Man! Then I saw the boy in my vision! He was holding a skateboard, and though he wore a hood instead of a cap, I was pretty sure it was him. Unfortunately, he was chatting with his buddy, and I chickened out. Then I saw the girl with the long black hair on the bike! But again I chickened out and she passed me by. Then I saw about five kids smoking. I did see a person smoking in my vision, but I didn't dare to approach the group. O LORD! This is alot harder than I thought! Discouraged, I started to walk back. That's when I saw the guy smoking by himself, pacing back and forth, like in my vision! By God's grace, I walked up to him.

"Hello, this is really random but...I just feel like I need to pray for you" I said.
The guy (his name's Alex) was friendly and accepted my offer.
"So is there anything particular you would like me to pray for you about?" I asked.
"Well I've been stressing in school and I really miss my family...it's weird, I have been thinking alot about God lately, and you showed up to pray for me...I guess God heard me," Alex said.
"I guess He did," I answered, appearing calm on the outside while on the inside I was going crazy with excitement O MY GOODNESS THIS IS TOO AWESOME!!!JESUS THANK YOU!!!

So I prayed for Alex, and I went back to my dorm. On my way back, I realized that I should have asked him if he knew Jesus or not. MAN I missed the perfect opportunity! O JESUS WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!I MESSED UP AGAIN!!This is so absurd!I felt like crying and laughing at the same time...Lord, I need Your help, please continue to train me...

You see, God uses people in their weakness, if God would use me, He would certainly use you on your campus.

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (Matthew5:14~16)

Sunday Service

Man! Today's worship was powerful! Before worship, John led us to pray for the service. We asked for Holy Spirit's presence and divine visitation. Then during worship, everyone felt the strong presence of God. We cried out to encounter Him, to burn for Him, to be the light of this world for Him, and to know His heart. Oh how I yearn for God now! Jesus set me on fire for You! I want to touch Your heart!

After worship John reminded us to honor our spiritual parents, and that none of us would be here if it weren't for Jack and Annie. It is so true! If Jack and Annie hadn't been so patient with me (believe me, I'm hard to deal with) for the past two years (!), praying for me, counseling me, healing me, loving me, and guiding me, I really don't know what kind of corrupted life I'd be living right now! Then we gathered to pray for Jack and Annie: The girls prayed for Annie and the boys prayed for Jack. Lord, forgive me because I haven't been honoring my spiritual parents, I love them and thank You (so so much) for them, please remind me daily to pray for them!

Today Jack talked about God the Potter, who shaped us and called us righteous because of His Son's sacrifice. God is our Fortress, Scepter, and Potter! Jesus, please transform my attitude. I feel like I'm doing a project on spiritual maturity and I'm grading myself on my performance; I have restricted God's control over me by instructing Him which area to improve in my life and rejecting what He wants to do in my life. Oh Lord! I don't want to be like this anymore! You are the Potter, so I'll give You full control in my life. How can the creation say to the Creator: "I know the purpose of my existence and what I need more than You do" ? Lord I know I'm imperfect and that You're shaping me, so I'll stop assessing my own progress and leave that up to You; I'll stop being impatient to see myself mature and trust in Your guidance. Oh God You are my Shepherd, Your rod and Your staff comfort me, and all I need is You to reign in my life.

OH MY GOODNESS JOHNNY GOT BAPTIZED TONIGHT!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!! Knowing John has encouraged me so much on my walk with God, and it was so touching to see him finally getting baptized. Haha, it was funny how we all gathered in the restroom to watch John getting baptized in his bathtub though...Lord bless our brother John, he is now a new creation in You!

PRAISE GOD JIMMY (a new friend at Impact) ACCEPTED JESUS AS HIS PERSONAL SAVIOR TODAY!!! HALLELUJAH!!

Tonight Annie and Jack surprised me with a SUPER delicious green tea cake! After singing happy birthday, I prayed and blew out the candle. I was so happy! This is the best birthday ever! I had family dinner, many awesome gifts, and the green tea cake! It seemed like I was celebrating throughout the entire weekend! Thank you Annie and Jack!!

Supernatural On Campus Conference

The conference was just a.m.a.z.i.n.g, and though I only went to three sessions, I was blown away by everything. Here are some awesome things I learned:

Getting Ready:
* Revival on campus happens out of complete surrender to Christ (signs and wonders won't happen unless we obey Holy Spirit's guidance) and faith (even when we don't see multitudes on our campus come to Christ, we still need to praise God's goodness). We do not need to see a super revival to be qualified to testify on stage about what God has done in our campus.
* We can't afford to waste anymore time! Whatever we sow in we'll reap from it; if we sow in watching TV all day, that's what we'll reap in our spirit, but if we sow and spend time on praying, we'll reap harvest and anointing from God. We must give up wasteful things to pursue the good things. God will give us revival on our campus, but how much do we want it? How hungry are we to be used by God, not for our sake, but for His sake?

Going In The Campus:
* We are in a time of reaping. God's telling us: the harvest is now!
* (1 Corinthians 2:1~5) Paul preached with the power of God and not eloquence or men's wisdom. When we share the gospel, we don't depend on ourselves to win souls; we depend on God. We don't need to be great speakers to share, because God's power is best shown in our weakness. If we're not walking with an intimacy with Jesus, we won't be able to do anything.
* "Killed in Action" should be our status when we do campus invasion. Our pride, fear, and desire to be respected by others need to be killed when we are on the battlefield. We no longer have reputation when we go out to evangelize, for we have become fools in men's sight for God's kingdom.
* Do open prophetic worship; people will gather because of God's presence and not because of a good event.
* The power is in the cross. If we don't preach the cross, there'll be no deliverance, power, or miracle. The enemy is defeated when we lift up the cross.
* Don't just make believers, make disciples. Today many people are getting radically saved, but most fall away in the end.

The Authority To Heal:
* (Luke 9:1~2; 10:8~9) The kingdom of God is all about healing! When demons are cast out and the sick are healed, people will know that God's kingdom is here.
* We need divine healing on our campus if we want to win souls! Signs and wonders all point people to God; Jesus always impact the heart through miracles before He changes the mind.
* Are we moving in signs and wonders? If not, we need to repent, for this generation has grieved the Holy Spirit by rejecting Him and His work.
* (Mark 16: 15~18) Jesus told us to go and make disciples; in His name we will cast out demons, speak in new tongues, and heal the sick. God has commanded the church to heal. We are ambassadors of Christ empowered to command healing and bring heaven down to earth. (Isaiah 61: 1) God sent us to set the captives free; we are freedom fighters!
* Never doubt God's intention to heal; God is a God who wants to heal and will heal. We pray for the sick out of obedience and our call to love, so don't focus too much on whether they get healed on the spot or not.
* ( 1 Corinthians 13: 1~3) Everything we do must be out of love. If we don't have love, nothing we do will make a difference.

8 Principles To Heal The Sick:
1. Ask for permission to pray for the sick.
2. Ask the person the cause and symptoms of the sickness. Our prayers need to be specific, for example, if we know that the person has headache because of stress, we can pray not just for the pain to go away, but for God to lift their stress as well.
3. Welcome the Holy Spirit before we start praying.
4. Decide whether this sickness is caused by the person's body, by demonic influences, or by unconfessed sins in that person's life.
5. Listen to the Lord and keep the prayer short and simple.
6. After the prayer, ask the person to test if the sickness or injury has gone away. Give post prayer instructions: thank God for the healing out of faith and proclaim God's promises on healing.
7. Praise God no matter what! Faith is diligence and persistence; love is never giving up.
8. Remember to pray in faith.

Prophetic Evangelizing:
* When we go out in our campus, remember that we have gold, something people would die for, that we are not trying to sell ice to Eskimos. People are hungry to hear about the love of God!
* Prophesy over people to win souls. People want to hear prophesy! They are willing to pay money for it when we can do it for free! So ask God for word of knowledge when we pray for them.
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After the morning worship, the speaker, Jaeson Ma, led us all to do a powerful prayer. Everyone shouted the prayer out loud, crying out to Jesus with tears streaming down their faces. We committed ourselves to Jesus and revival on our campus. We prayed for our schools, for us to commit to praying at least one hour a day, and for us to evangelize for God and not for ourselves. I was crying as I said the prayer. I repented for being such an arrogant and loveless hypocrite; I didn't love the nonbelievers and felt no urgency to share the gospel. Also, I had been satisfied with my devotions and regular church attendance. But Jesus reminded me to come back to Him, to desire more of Him. God I want to be on fire for You! I want to go out there and evangelize in the name of love!

In the afternoon we asked for God's word of knowledge and wrote everything God told us down before we went out in twos and threes to do campus invasion. My teammates are Shelbin and Hallie (from Fly Young!!), we prayed for many people and got rejected by many. I felt the difference between praying out of love and out of "religious obligations" during the invasion. Back on my campus, I had tried praying for people, out of a desire to do what I was "supposed to do as a Christian" and not out of love. It had been tiring and fruitless. But when God's love for the lost filled me, I was bold and excited to pray for strangers.

Jesus!! Thank You so much for this conference! I'm going to win souls with prophesy and signs and wonders in UCI! God let Your fire fall down on this campus!

FRIDAY JOKE!!

It was an awkward situation. Alice's friend, Isabel, was going to have dinner with a Japanese transfer student she met on Facebook. Out of curiosity and lack of better things to do, Alice agreed to go with Isabel. At the restaurant, Isabel told Alice to eat first, while she go pick up her friend. Alone with a bowl of steaming kon pow chicken, Alice waited. Finally Isabel returned with Huah, a senior student from Tokyo University doing a study abroad program at UCI. Huah was polite and has impressive fluency at English. But then it turned out that Huah already ate, so Alice was the only one eating as she faced Isabel and Huah. Isabel didn't know what to say, and they both stared at Alice. Whenever Alice and Isabel made the smallest attempt at being funny, Huah would let out this girly and high-pitched laughter. It startled Alice at first, and then it became annoying.

"Nehehhehheh" Huah snickered again

Trying to break the ice, Alice started showing off her three years' worth of Japanese.

"You know Japanese?" Huah looked impressed.
Feeling a little proud, Alice tried to say, "Ie, nihongo wa heta desu" (No, my Japanese is poor)But what actually came out was:

"Ie, nihongo wa hentai desu" (No, my Japanese is perverted)!!!

Isabel started laughing her head off and Huah looked shocked and bewildered. Realizing her mistake, Alice immediately looked away from the two and felt the increasing heat on her face.

So kids, the moral of the story is: KNOW YOUR FOREIGN LANGUAGE BEFORE SHOWING IT OFF TO RANDOM STRANGERS!!
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WOW, today's my 18th birthday! Jesus thank You for creating me, eighteen years ago, on this very day; thank You for loving me even when I was still in the womb; thank You for guiding me all these years! I'm finally legal!!

I was looking back in my diary (I have so many of them)and I was shocked at how rebellious and suicidal I had been last year. I mean, the entry from 9/8/06 and 9/9/06 really scared me; I had written down three options for myself: (1)Gradually pull away from church by lying to church members, making myself busy,making a lot of nonChristian friends,and going to a far away school. (2)Going back to God (there was a cuss word marking this option) or (3)Kill myself and end everything at once. What's so scary about it was that I sounded so calm and so logical. Oh Jesus, how You have changed me within a single year! How You've healed me and turned me away from self-destruction! Your love brought life to my spirit and crushed the enemy's strongholds in my life. Looking back, I realized just how faithful Jesus is, patiently taking care of this arrogant and rebellious sinner. Jesus I love You! Help me not to waste another minute of my life! Help me to mature and become destiny-driven this year.

My hallmates are so sweet, they stayed up till Thursday midnight to tell me happy birthday, they posted birthday cards on my door, they took me to lunch, gave me presents and sang happy birthday. My roommate was even more awesome: she bought me this huge banquet of beautiful flowers and put them in a tall vase wrapped with ribbons. I AM SO TOTALLY LOVING IT!!!

Since lots of my family members are born in November, we are going to celebrate it together by eating hot pot and BBQ Saturday night. I can't wait! I'm so excited about Jaeson Ma's conference too!

"I will praise You forever for what You have done; in Your name I will hope, for Your name is good. I will praise You in the presence of Your saints." (Psalms52:9)

God I Need You

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." (Psalms43:5)

Jesus, I'm so stressed out about school. I have loads of stuff to study and memorize, but I just can't concentrate. Even when I isolate myself from my computer by studying in the study room, I would find myself playing games on my cell phone or falling asleep. I feel so bored. Nothing interested me: going online, eating, sleeping, reading, or being with friends. Man, I don't even want to pray right now. I don't understand, I had a great morning devotion, and everything was fine until now. Maybe its the cold weather, maybe its "the girl problem",maybe its the midterms. Whatever it is, God I lay everything down before You, and I will put my hope in You.

"But You are a shield around me, O LORD; You bestow glory on me and lift up my head." (Psalms3:3)

Jesus I love You and I trust in You...God in You I find peace and safety. Let the light of Your face shine upon me. Jesus You are always good. I love You, O LORD, my strength! When I fall down You pick me up, when I am dry You fill my cup, You are my loving Shepherd!

"Oh Lord, Open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise." (Psalms51:15)

I'm going to start memorizing verses again. Lord Your Word gives me strength!

His Love Is So Good

JESUS I LOVE YOU...today was a good day!I studied hard, ate healthy,and most important of all: I encountered You during worship!

Yesterday we learned about nutrition in Health Leaders Class. I learned that I need to eat small portions of food throughout the day to keep my metabolism going;I should eat a healthy snack (i.e, apple,yogurt,Trader Joe's Multigrain Crackers...etc)every three hours. I did that today,I feel great and my stomach isn't that bloated anymore! We really need to take care of our bodies, because it is the Lord's temple...The speaker also gave us a link:

MyPyramid CHECK IT OUT!Find out how to eat healthy and make a customized nutrition + exercise plan specifically for you!

This morning I was actually able to concentrate and pray (usually I would just flip through the Bible and mutter a half-hearted prayer).I mean, I was having a wonderful time talking to my Lord! It really makes a difference to start your day with prayer and worship.Around noontime I gave myself an hour to worship and wait upon Jesus. It was fantastic!I asked Jesus to help me pray and He did; He taught me how to pray and intercede, how to sing and praise. God's wonderful presence filled my tiny dorm, and my heart was pounding with joy. But none of that could compare with what Jesus did during my night devotion.

It was 9:00pm, after I took my sociology midterm and showered, I sat down infront of my desk.Resisting the urge to turn on the computer,I listened to the Onething 2006 CD.As I sang along, my heart melted before Him,and I hungered after God. I haven't felt so overwhelmed like this for a long time, and I didn't realize that I've been missing it until Jesus reminded me. Oh it is so good to know that I am His. God's love is so tender that it makes me want to cry; I feel like someone who's finally found refuge from a raging storm.Jesus my soul finds rest in You, my wounds get healed in You,my burdens get relieved in You, and my stains get cleaned in You.Oh I have found redemption in my God's unfailing love! Before, I had tried to read Song of Songs repeatedly without success;I just couldn't concentrate on King Solomon's flowery words.But at that moment, I felt like singing those romantic verses to Jesus, for my heart was on fire for my God.

Lord You are GOOD and You are FAITHFUL, thank You!!

"Within Your temple, O God, we meditate on Your unfailing love." (Psalms48:9)

A Letter From Hell

A Soldier in Christ

OH MY GOODNESS I am so tired. I studied for Wednesday's midterm until 4:30am, slept for two hours, and got up to apply for next year's housing (the online application window opens at 6:00am, cuz it's a first come first serve basis, I wanted to apply as soon as it starts so I can get my first choice). Not surprisingly, when hundreds of anxious students all tried to log in at the same time, the server went down and no one got to apply for housing. So much for getting up early. For the rest of the day I dragged my semi-conscious body from class to class, getting increasingly grumpy and craving for caffeine. My asian eyes got smaller than usual, my face got covered with pimples, and my mind was too busy complaining to thank Jesus for this day.

As soon as I got to my dorm, I braced myself to cram even more to prepare for the midterm. But once I started listening to IHOP's Constant CD, I realized that I didn't spend quality time with my Heavenly Father yet. I closed my eyes and praised Him. Immediately God's gentle love flowed into my heart, melting all anxiety away and providing rest for my exhausted soul. Jesus' love is so good. How could I forget to run to my Fortress when I was stressing out? Lord You are faithful, help me to refocus my life on You again.

My devotion times are getting shorter and less enjoyable; an alarm is going off in my spirit, telling me to be aware of what is happening, and to surrender my life to Jesus again. Lord, help me not to lose my way in this busy and fast-paced life style.

This reminds me of Impact's last leaders' retreat. We each got a military tag with a verse on it:

"No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer" (2 Timothy2:4)

Yes Lord, as Your soldier, I will not get tangled up in the affairs of this world, I want to please You. I will only follow You Lord! Help me to fix my eyes on You!

"Passion for Jesus"

Jesus, thank You for Your faithfulness, thank You for guiding me, thank You for teaching me the truths so that I'll not be lost even when I stray...Jesus, thank You for giving me strength when I'm frustrated and depressed. Jesus I love You, thank You for reminding me that, not only do I need to have intimacy with You, but that I also need to work for the sake of the gospel. Not only do I have an inheritance in You, but You have an inheritance in me as well. Because I love You, I will go out there and tell the nonbelievers about You. I'm going to make detailed plans and strategies on how to reach out to my friends and set weekly goals for myself because Jesus, You are a Saviour who wants none to perish, but all to be saved. Hallelujah!

"I love You, O LORD, my strength." (Psalms18:1)

Today Jeniffer shared about cultivating extravagant love for Jesus. I learned that it takes eternity to grasp God's love, and that we need to work hard to nurture a passionate love for God. But we need the knowledge of who God is to love Him. How can we love someone we don't even know? If we do not have full understanding of Jesus' personality, we will be subject to the enemy's lies and become incapable of having a loving relationship with our Saviour. Since God already made the first move by giving His all to us and making Himself fully available to us, it is our responsibility to reach out to Him. In the end, it all comes down to this: just how much intimacy do we want with Jesus?

Man, Jeniffer was so full of passion and her words were really speaking life to me, that I was jotting down notes like crazy. Jeniffer YOU ROCK! AWESOME JOB TODAY!!

Jack's topic was "Holy Spirit the Counselor", and he encouraged us to read Psalms 90 and 91. God's name is the Shepherd (Psalms 23), His rod protects us and His staff guides us. In John14: 15~16, Jesus promised to give believers the Counselor from God. Our Lord is a promise keeper, His faithfulness will never allow Him to take back His own promises. We can always call upon the name of the Lord, and He will answer our cry.

Last night Jack said that Sunday services are for saints; they equip the believers and give glory to God. Jesus, help me to never forget the purpose of going to church, and help me to love my church even more.

Ministry Meeting Update!

Oh Lord, I had a dentist appointment this morning. After all that x-ray, the dentist told me that I was fine. It seemed like a miracle! I mean, I seriously can't remember the last time I got that remark from my dentist! But after a second check, he found a huge cavity hidden away at the very back. The dentist said that if we had been any more late, I would have had to have a root canal. "Man, why is this happening?! I thought everything was fine!" I thought as the dentist prepared to drill my poor tooth. Amazingly, Sarah didn't have any cavity after her check, while poor Amy got three cavities; she couldn't eat for a while afterwards. Lord, I promise that from now on, I'm gonna brush my teeth at least three times a day! This is going to be part of my new years' resolution: to be cavity-free at every dentist check-up.

An awesome thing happened today. There was a thick layer of fog this morning, so Mom turned on the headlights on our drive to see the dentist. When we arrived, we forgot to turn off the lights. So for the entire two hours or so, the lights were on. Miraculously, our car didn't run out of electricity until we got home. THANK YOU JESUS! It could've been so dangerous, I mean, we didn't even realize it while we drove home! Good thing our car didn't break down right in the middle of the road! GOD YOU ARE OUR PROTECTOR, THANK YOU!

At 7:30 that night, Tiffa and I went to join the ministry meeting at Jack's house (we needed information on the winter camp). It was so encouraging to listen to the cell group leaders talk about their victories and struggles in their ministry. Momo actually made an entire binder for WAVE, including their pictures, mission statement, self-evaluation, and record of what they did for each meeting. It was fantastic! Jack told them to challenge each other to take their cell groups to the next level.

Then it was Annie's turn to report what 7-11 has been up to and what areas we need to improve. 7-11's purpose is to inspire other girls to embrace their womanhood and find their positions in the kingdom of God. Annie had three words for 7-11: "Be sincere, savvy, and sophisticated." Since the members are all Christians, Annie's current goal is to mobilize us to start our own ministry and to reach out to new friends. Annie said that we need more one-on-one and strengthen our caring network. She also said that we need to start taking charge during these three months. I took so much notes and felt horrible for not knowing the purpose of my cell group and my leader's vision. 7-11 members! Let us rise up!

I learned so much from the meeting. For example, Jack told us that discipleship is the key to success in all areas of life, that it is something we do for our own benefit. There is going to be a new discipleship program available to all Impact members: people who sign -up will have to do weekly evaluations (i.e, how many people did they save this week) and Jack and Annie will be kicking their butts to discipline their walk with Jesus. Jack also told us that we'll become really encouraged when we give ourselves a number (i.e, save 5 souls a week).

When it was time to discuss the winter camp, Tiffa and I became really nervous. At the end of discussion, we felt like puppies that were expecting approval but got kicked instead. I mean, Tiffa and I had been dreaming for the camp, and we came up with all kinds of ideas--we had envisioned an intensive leader training camp. But Jack woke us up and made us realize how broad our vision was: the camp should focus only on one theme, we need to serve the campers' needs instead of "training" them, there will be only one major speaker (we had wanted some campers to come up and be supportive speakers), and we need to help the campers build good friendship with each other (rather than just focusing on individual campers' relationship with God). Though a little shaken, Tiffa and I realized the weaknesses in our original plan and were glad that we sort of have a guideline now.

Lord help us to be organized and take responsibility of this life You've given us, provide those who need jobs or clients, take the Thanksgiving Party and winter camps into Your hands, and give us the love and patience to do one-on-one with our friends for the sake of winning souls for You. Amen!

Yay Weekend!

This morning I prayed to Jesus: Lord, You are worthy to be praised! Please help me love others as You do; I want to tell others about You out of love and not out of anything else. Give me boldness, faith, and strength. Jesus, thank You for Your love! Thank You for Your salvation! Thank You for Your goodness!

"How awesome is the Lord Most High, the great King over all the earth!" (Psalms47:2)

Then I started to study for bio, usually I wouldn't be able to concentrate, but this time, I prayed for Jesus' help before I started. Amazingly, half an hour later I found myself writing page after page of notes and actually learning the stuff! Thank You Jesus!

Unfortunately, the beautiful watch I got from GodChicks Conference died and I got to bio half an hour late.

At three in the afternoon, I ventured out to do another campus invasion. With my heart pounding, I approached a lady who was studying. I walked toward her, I saw her writing things down in a book, and to my horror, I kept on walking! I walked passed her and I thought to myself, "Alice, what are you doing?!"

For the next forty minutes or so, I wandered around the campus, "rejecting" every one of Holy Spirit's invitation to pray for that particular person. "Jesus, she's talking on the phone!" "No, she looks too busy" "There are too many people around her" "He looks too angry, smoking like he's trying to eat the cigarette; he might try to eat me too!" "Nah, she looks too happy" When I finally ran out of excuses, I simply said to God, "I don't wanna do this anymore!" And I ran back to my dorm.

I thought about how Jesus did His ministry; He didn't walk up to a person and said, "Hi, can I pray for you?" He simply said, "Follow me," and people dropped what they were doing and followed. He didn't look for a person who was alone, He went straight into the synagogue and preached in front of the crowd! He didn't timidly smiled and asked for permission, He just performed miracles and people flocked to Him! Lord, I want to be free from fear! Please help me!

Wow...it's Friday already, I really really need to stop procrastinating and start STUDYING! Midterms are next week! Jesus help!

Waiting Upon Him

Oh Man I TOTALLY FAILED!!

I tried to donate blood today, but after the lady took a blood sample, she said that I was anemic; I had an iron count of 11.7mg/dL and apparently, you need 12.5mg/dL to donate. "Whatever, just let me donate!!" I thought to myself, but she sent me off with a professional smile and a list of "Good Sources Foods Rich in Iron".

Recently I haven't been doing too well academically; I missed FOUR lectures when school has only started for a month! I missed two psychology lectures because I overslept, one biology lecture, and one math lecture because I had to finish up my sociology paper. Bad Alice!

Anyways, time for some GOOD THINGS!!

So I went out to campus looking for strangers to pray for today. I prayed for a nice lady who happily accepted and turned out to be already a Christian. Then I approached a girl sitting alone by herself with a lap top.

"Hi, I'm just wondering, can I pray for you?"
She looked up at me, "What?"
"Um, can I pray for you?"
"You want to what? Pray for me? Why?"
"Because God loves you and wants to bless you," I said with a smile. Strangely, despite her attitude, I was very calm and filled with a sense of peace.
"Uh...I would rather you not, but if you have to pray for me, go right on ahead."She turned her gaze back to her laptop.
"Well, I'm Alice, what's your name?"
"Mimi"
"Ok, do you mind if I put my hand on your shoulder while we pray?"
"Sure."She was giving me a weird look.
"Dear Jesus, I thank You for Mimi, please let her know how much You love her, let her know what the purpose of life is, and pour down Your love and grace on her. Please bless her family and school work. In Your name we pray, Amen."
"Thanks that was really nice," Mimi said without any feelings.
Still wasn't satisfied, I asked her whether she knew Jesus or not. Then I told her that God loves her and sent His Son to die on the cross for her. By now, she was looking really uncomfortable.
"Uh...I don't know what to say to that,"She said to her laptop.
"Well, just know that God loves you," Then I walked away, feeling her glaring at me.

I felt so tired afterwards, but when I got back to my dorm, excitement hit me. I finally told the gospel to someone on this campus! And I prayed for her! YAY! Thank You Jesus, I am so encouraged now!


But that wasn't the highlight of the day.

Alone in my dorm, I decided to spend some quiet time with my Lord. Usually I would turn the music on, but not this time. I knelt down, and just quietly waited upon Him. A sense of peace and quiet joy rose from the bottom of my heart. My mind was finally able to stop its tiring wanderings, and my spirit can finally rest in Him. Jesus, You are so beautiful. Father I want to hear Your voice, see Your beauty, be overwhelmed by Your glory, and feel Your love. Jesus You are so glorious, Your glory will wash over the earth like the water over the seas.

When I looked up, 20 minutes had passed! Wow! I used to struggle to concentrate for just 5 minutes, but now, the gentle presence of God made time flew right by! Thank You Lord, only You can fill my heart, apart from You I have no good thing.

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalms46:10)