A Lesson On Humility

This morning I did devotion as usual, worshiping Him with songs and prayers. Yet today my heart was hard and my spirit was battling within me.

God I'm scared, I feel lost, I'm strangled by my sins. Jesus I just want to escape from reality and all those problems from dealing with people.

God, I have a horrible attitude with my Mom. Whenever she's trying to give me some suggestions, I'd feel like she's looking down at me. "See, your God can't do anything," her disapproving stare seems to say, "If He's so powerful and you worship Him, why are you still the same, prideful, and selfish brat that you've always been?" Oh God, whenever I face my Mom, she would start picking on me, making me feel so weak and imperfect. Lord, I guess that's how You make me humble and help me realize that I have been prideful; I've been thinking that I'm better than my Mom and everyone else because I'm so "holy", that's why I get so angry whenever she gives me the tiniest advice. "Who are you to criticize me?" That had always been my attitude.

My pride is corrupting my worship; Lord, how can I worship You with such an arrogant heart? Oh Jesus I want to be real now, I want to live with honesty. I'll admit my flaws and accept correction from people, I'll humbly love and serve them. I want to be authentic! I don't want to live with a prideful heart, an angrily condemning spirit, and a haughty mask saying "I'm holy and perfect in loving God and people and you are not." Jesus forgive me! Have mercy on me! I surrender to You. Please help me, today, to love and serve those around me with a genuine and humble heart.

God, I've been so ridiculous, thinking that I gotta be perfect for people to believe in You. Who am I? Who am I to think that I can convince them with my "fake perfection" better than You can? God doesn't need me perfect to save souls; Jesus is good no matter what I do. God is good enough and I don't need to do do anything to "make Him look better". God Himself is good enough to make people fall head over heels for Him.

Lord I thank You for this lesson, please keep it in my heart...Lord I'll show people for who I really am: weak and sinful. Yet Your love is so great that You would patiently shape and mold me to be more and more like Christ. That's what good witnesses are: they show people how weak they really are to demonstrate just how graceful and good God really is. Lord I want to be a true witness instead of an arrogant, self-righteous one. Jesus I love You! Thank You for Your love, grace, patience, and mercy!

"Take my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart..." (Matthew11:29)